It is incredibly hard watching people you know being idiots. Particularly when they are being idiots in ways you, yourself, used to be an idiot.

You find yourself wanting to shake them. Slap them. Hit them pretty damn hard. And then you realize, what you really wish you could so is go back and slap the you who made those mistakes, because you are, in some ways, still furious with yourself. And you are still living with the consequences, even though your life now is much better. But you realize you haven't reached that point of forgiving yourself. And that gives you pause.

Which doesn't stop you from wanting to slap the idiots around you. It's as if, somehow, you could forgive yourself if you manage to save someone else from the same idiocy. But most people don't want to be saved, and slapping idiots is a waste of energy that could be put to better use healing from your old mistakes.

And so. I am refraining from telling several people they are idiots, today.

From: [identity profile] bearddevil.livejournal.com


Oh my goodness, yes. I know precisely how you feel.

From: [identity profile] weiskind.livejournal.com


Very, very good point. I still haven't forgiven myself for all those decisions made out of fear of being alone.

From: [identity profile] neoteny.livejournal.com


I've been noticing this exact same thing recently. In some cases, they are the sorts of mistakes you have to make personally to *really* learn / understand / grow, so slapping may not help.

From: [identity profile] xleste.livejournal.com


Sometimes what helps me is finding the compassion-part...the part that so deeply understands exactly why they're behaving like idiots that it's harder to judge it.

From: [identity profile] rayhawk.livejournal.com


Ooh! I bet I'm one of them! If not today, then probably recently.

Xleste has the right idea though, if you still want to slap them it's a red flag that means you need to focus on making peace and finding compassion for your past self. Until then, that part of you is perpetually suffering under the abuse of that other part of you.

From: [identity profile] zellandyne.livejournal.com


*laughter* I wasn't actually thinking of you when I wrote that, but yes, it would apply. And yeah, the point of that post for me was the realization that I have more work to do, because I really shouldn't be feeling that way.

From: [identity profile] dinogrl.livejournal.com


Yes, I know how you feel.

I've recently wanted to have a dialogue on someone's recent overt mistake even though it doesn't appear to be a "mistake" to them, but I realized that 1) it wasn't this person's decision as they aren't in control, and 2) even though silence isn't golden it seems to be the only path at this point.

Grit teeth, smile and nod. Then beat the crap outta your pillow.
.

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